Journal of Other Forum Analysis (Volume II, Issue 1)

[Potato]

https://www.resetera.com/threads/broke-up-with-the-girl-i-thought-i-was-going-to-marry-after-8-years.1203660/

Sorry this is going to seem like such incoherent rambles because I'm so fucking broken right now. Probably won't even have many details cause I hate airing out business mine or other people

I think I'm going to die. I just wasn't happy anymore. Small things I overlook at the start of the relationship over time just grows and grows and grows…. You beg and plead and it's always promised shit will change but it always goes back to the "norm" until the cycle repeats… I guess I just had enough

I fucking love her. And she loves me more than anything in the world and I feel so lost and like a dick for ending it but I'm just so unhappy and can't emotionally connect with her anymore.

She was my best and only friend. She was my life, and I was hers. Now I have to plan a life without her. And I fear so much for her what she's going to do :( she doesn't have a family to go home to. She can't afford it out here without me. But I have to try to stop worrying about that.

Taking a couple weeks to collect and pack stuff and moving back with parents for a month or two. Might move across the country and reset my entire life. I have no clue what I'm going to do. But this is the worst fucking pain I've felt in my life.

Also no this wasn't on a "whim" it's something I've felt for years and always thought I was just over reacting. Not everything can be perfect and every time I brought up we can't emotionally connect I learned to hold it back in and pretend it's all fine. But my emotions are real and I've come to terms I can't keep wasting her and my life if I'm so unhappy and I feel there's an emotional disconnect

I'm so cooked

I've had a ring for a year and a half and could never bring myself to do it. My subconscious and brain knew before my heart did. No idea what to do with it.

So many memories :(

Guys if you feel these small things actually mentally effect you vocalize it and please don't waste years and years waiting to be loved the way you want to be loved.

I'm so afraid I'm going to end up alone and no one will ever love me the way she does… fuck she loves me so fucking much and I'm throwing this all away. Just cause it wasn't the way I wanted doesn't make her love not real. She's a good person and I hate to see that it's come to this point and I can't even be happy and accept the way she gives it.

I don't know if I'll even get comfort posting this or hearing from other people. But I really feel my life falling apart before my eyes

https://www.resetera.com/threads/broke-up-with-the-girl-i-thought-i-was-going-to-marry-after-8-years.1203660/#post-140707953

Was it you figuring out you weren't compatible or something worse?

Nothing worse. Just not compatible emotionally. She did nothing wrong. I don't believe ive done anything wrong. We were never alike interest wise and she doesn't have many hobbies. So I'd want her to partake in/ show interest in stuff I do. Start of relationship obviously she tries. But over years it becomes quite evident she doesn't enjoy anything i do. And it becomes forcing her to enjoy time with me. From going out, music, tv, video games. Nothing. She would always be on her phone or asleep within minutes. But in her words she loves my company and just likes hanging out with me. She doesn't have emotional needs like that but I do.

And there's also like I feel an intellectual difference where I feel I can't talk to her about certain subjects or things cause she just won't get it. And I've struggled with that a lot. Also emotional intelligence. I would vocalize all these needs I feel I have and how I want her to improve. Vocally and over text. And I would never get an actual proper response. She'd freeze up and avoid conflict and I guess I was supposed to forget and act like it was normal… which I did. Constantly. Cause I didn't want to lose her

It's just incompatibilities. Like when I vocalize it it feels so small… but it is so real and so big to me and ate at me for years

She dodged a bullet.

This is what happens when you think your real life should be just like your animes...