Put down my dog of 14 years the other day. She had gone deaf, had a massive cancerous tumor growing under, in, around her tail that she constantly nursed aka licked. I was heartbroken the first two or three days. Getting used to her not being there is and was tough. I've never had a dog so long and I never had a relationship like the one I had with her. I found myself filling her water bowl or getting her food at her usual feeding time out of habit. It was like chasing a ghost. What was more striking was the quiet. No tippy taps, no grunting while someone is trying to get comfortable in her bed, no cute snores. Just...quiet. I'm holding a memorial for her today. I'll be burying her leash, collar, toys, and dish bowls. The pain has quickly turned into gratitude. I just smile when I think of her. Saying hi to dogs I meet outside has really helped. I wish I could hug her one last time; she was the goodest of girls.
Taking up sailing lessons and eventually aim to buy a boat. I want to sail along all of the NE major cities and go from port to port on a grand adventure. Maybe one day sail to Greenland or UK. I want to reach Captain. Will be great especially since my Navy career got caught short.
Due to the stress from my dogs final days I bought a pack of cigarettes. Every five years or so I buy a pack but this time I really had to write my findings since I mostly used it for stress relief and creative output. I've been writing stories and I ended up writing 8 stories on that pack alone. I realized that there was something to be said about tobacco. I found myself getting out of knots I made for myself story-wise. The nicotine helped me think so much more astutely so that my ideas were more rounded. I was stuck on one story and ended up finishing/polishing the idea after one cigarette. When I finished the pack I didn't buy another one but I have visited the local cigar lounge. Having the occasional cigar is definitely better than cigarettes. Cigarettes are crude and inelegant in comparison to cigars. I've also bought some tobacco pipe weed and look forward to smoking in that way.
I've taken up rock climbing, salsa dancing lately, and been trying to hit 15k steps a day. Been having a good time in life outdoors and in nature.
Finally, I deleted all of the social media apps from my phone and feel cleansed.
Taking up sailing lessons and eventually aim to buy a boat. I want to sail along all of the NE major cities and go from port to port on a grand adventure. Maybe one day sail to Greenland or UK. I want to reach Captain. Will be great especially since my Navy career got caught short.
Due to the stress from my dogs final days I bought a pack of cigarettes. Every five years or so I buy a pack but this time I really had to write my findings since I mostly used it for stress relief and creative output. I've been writing stories and I ended up writing 8 stories on that pack alone. I realized that there was something to be said about tobacco. I found myself getting out of knots I made for myself story-wise. The nicotine helped me think so much more astutely so that my ideas were more rounded. I was stuck on one story and ended up finishing/polishing the idea after one cigarette. When I finished the pack I didn't buy another one but I have visited the local cigar lounge. Having the occasional cigar is definitely better than cigarettes. Cigarettes are crude and inelegant in comparison to cigars. I've also bought some tobacco pipe weed and look forward to smoking in that way.
I've taken up rock climbing, salsa dancing lately, and been trying to hit 15k steps a day. Been having a good time in life outdoors and in nature.
Finally, I deleted all of the social media apps from my phone and feel cleansed.
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